Yes, but it takes mutual respect and tolerance. Opinions are core to our identity and understanding of the world. The deepest truth about us is that we belong to a social species that calls on us to promote social harmony. And we can do that even while we disagree violently and irrevocably with each other about all sorts of things. Diversity, politics, difference, contrasts, these enrich a community as long as we deal with them in a spirit of compassion true to our nature as human beings. We don’t have to hide our opinions, or bury our differences, however, it’s essential to handle debates with kindness and respect. Artificial avoidance of subjects can demage relationships if it seems like lying or not being authentic. One strategy that works for many is tacit agreement ‘not to go there’. Don’t take others opinions personally, respect that we are all formed by different life experiences and no one is wrong voluntarily, everyone acts for the sake of what they think is good.
Daniel Aasegh (Education Officer)
Some political views may be so ethically unacceptable or debated so disrespectfully that friendship is impossible. Even so, it’s best to be kind when fondness is not possible. Each person must learn to think for themselves. But each must also try to learn to see issues from the perspective of others, which may lead them to modify their opinions. Our society and public debate appears increasingly divisive and toxic but there is need to try as much as possible to be friends with people who have different political views to us. It is generally hard to maintain friends with people with divergent political views but there are ways to avoid disagreement; staying clear of divisive subjects and sticking to areas of mutual interest. When we share views that agrees with our opinions, with people who also agree with these opinions, this can create a sense that we are so obviously right about the world that anyone who disagrees with us must either be wicked, fundamentally bad, brain-washed or deluded.
Saaondo E. Akighir (Applicant)
I think it can be helpful to keep in mind that people have a lot of reasons for choosing party or voting the way they do. The thing that you despise about a candidate might have little to do with the reasons a friend supports that candidate. It’s hard to do but for the sake of relationship, it helps to remember that voting for a candidate does not mean a friend holds all that candidate’s values or traits. It is helpful to approach these conversations with the goal of really listening and trying to understand the other person before speaking.
This helps people feel respected and heard, while also giving you the information about them you need to make a persuasive appeal. But you don’t need to and shouldn’t forget your own views. Understanding that the people we disagree with aren’t necessarily irredeemable or acting in bad faith can help. Tricky conversations between people with different views can worsen political divides, or they can be the building blocks of social change.
Terdoo Elize (Archives Staff)
There is nothing special allowing mere political views to divide us in this country since we share a common destiny which should be guided and protected.
Politics is a passionate efforts to strive for who gets what, and in development and transformation. If everyone thinks this way, why should politics divide us when there was Nigeria before we started talking of democracy?
Personally, I don’t think holding different political views should worth the disruption of the unity and peace among friends.
We all have the right to express ourselves, we should avoid incendiary comments that can further pose huge challenge to our friendship with others.
Allowing political intolerance and hate to pollute our political views and ideology is not a new phenomenon in Nigeria. But politics is not what should bring division to friendship and brotherhood. Everybody knows that relationship comes first and every reasonable Nigerian must continue to maintain that relationship such that politics cannot divide.
Kuhe Alberts Hemense (Public Affairs Analyst)
If politics and political views matter greatly to a person, I can be rest assured that we are most likely incompatible for a close relationship. I find politics to be very tedious and mindless topic to discuss, and if someone puts their happiness in the hands of situations beyond their control, like political outcomes and ideology, then I will get frustrated too often in our interactions for it to have a chance of working. People who are very interested in politics tend to have many traits which I find annoying, such as focusing on groups rather than individuals, thinking they can fix others without looking at themselves and feeling unreasonably righteous. Politics is the profession of manipulating set of people, and I find this distasteful, uninteresting, and not worth my brain processing cycles. I would rather spend my time and energy learning about new and interesting things from intelligent and passionate people who are actually making a difference in the world in fields which they love.
Timothy Keghen (Civil Servant)
Maintaining friendships with people you strongly disagree with is definitely possible. Staying open minded to the other person’s point of view and letting them keep you in check is key. Admitting the possibility that you are wrong, although this is extremely difficult to put in practice but it is vitally important. Most of the time when you make friends, you are paying attention to what you have in common. You might enjoy their sense of humour, their kindness, their taste of music, or their willingness to help you out in a pinch. However, sometimes your friends may have political views that are very different from your own. Focusing on what you have in common, and learning to avoid political conversations will help you deal with friends you don’t share political views with. When you do get into a disagreement, learning to patch things up will help your friendship endure. A good friend has sincere interest in finding out as much as he can about his friends’ point of view.
Jude Ucha (Tax Officer)