Healthy relationships cannot exist without mutual respect for each other’s privacy. This is why boundaries are so important in marriage. Privacy can mean different things to different couples, depending on how open or conservative they choose to be with each other. Being honest with your spouse does not necessarily mean you must share every single thought, dream, fear, or fantasy with this person. In fact, honestly may be a double-edged sword in your marriage. Knowing what to share and what not to share is an important communication skill for couples to learn and use in their marriage. It may also be something that can help or hinder peace and harmony with your spouse.
It is important to remember that you do not have to share everything with another person in a relationship. Some things to remember in any relationship are; you have the right to privacy in any relationship including with your spouse, partner, and family. You have the right to keep a part of your life secret, no matter how trivial or how important, for the sole reason that you want to. And you also have the right to spend some time alone.
Elder Isaka Ierkwagh (Rtd Public Servant)
In a healthy relationship, you honour the sense of emotional and physical privacy needed for yourself and your partner, otherwise, you would be ironically limiting your intimacy with one another and not enhancing it. You can not be truly intimate with your mate without being in touch with the innermost part of yourself.
Every person needs a social boundary as well as time alone, privacy in marriage enables partners to have space to feel relaxed and at ease.
Privacy in marriage is very important because it builds trust. Marriage actually becomes stronger when partners are sensitive towards each other’s needs for some degree of privacy. Though, one member of the marriage may have less need for privacy, whereas the other may need more space and time alone, but transparency in marriage is being honest about your privacy needs.
In reality, some privacy can actually lead to a greater degree of intimacy as both partners will feel safe and respected, allowing them to open up and be vulnerable with each other about matters they are comfortable sharing.
Mrs Helen Alegwu (Businesswoman)
Everyone is entitled to privacy within their own marriage. In fact, relationships are much healthier because of it. In the same way that we express our individuality through the separate interests and hobbies we choose, it is also vital that we don’t share every last detail of our lives with our partner. There is a line between having privacy and secrecy in a marriage relationship and it is not always easy to master. On the fundamental level, your partner should be somebody you go to for guidance and reassurance about things, the one person you feel most comfortable in confiding your deepest and darkest fears. But how much married couples should really share with one another matters.
Over sharing or confiding too little in your partner can be equally damaging in a relationship, so how to strike the right balance and set appropriate boundaries with each other is key. Giving the advent of cell phones coupled with complications of financial secrecy, maintaining both privacy and trust may be tough in a modern marriage, but it is certainly not impossible.
Engr. Gabriel Okwoli (Satellite Engineer)
For me, the answer is absolutely yes. Asking if privacy should exist in marriages is similar to asking if love, trust, and respect should exist in marriages. Some degree of privacy is essential to forging a healthy and mutual respect for each other. After all, you would feel that there is no reason to snoop through your partner’s social media posts or text messages if you trusted them, right?
Simply put, privacy is a branch of trust, but when done the right way, marital privacy recognizes that your wife or husband needs their own space to breathe and have their own identity.
Privacy in marriage is about setting boundaries between sharing important things like health, well-being etc and trivial things such as what your last message read. Some partners may be comfortable sharing everything with each other, but for those who are not, monitoring and micromanaging their life can be hugely suffocating. It is therefore, important to recognize what counts as privacy, and what counts as being deliberately secretive.
Mrs Terkuma Tersoo (Teacher)
Of course because things such as previous relationships. Your old flames are in the past and that is where they should stay. Probing into your current spouses past relationships will only create insecurity and unless you feel like talking about your romantic past, there should be no pressure to share any of it with your partner. Other things like bathroom habits and personal judgement should also be private.
What should not be private are issues like health. Keeping quiet about a serious or debilitating illness will only hurt your partner in the long run. You may feel like you are protecting them, but if by a chance they find out sooner or later especially if it is from someone else, then this will not end well for anyone. Uncomfortable truths are always better than a deliberate lie.
Others are finances. At the very least, both partners need to be open about how much they have and their spending habits. To withhold this kind of information is only going to damage trust. And daily activity. No one is suggesting putting a tracking device on your partner, but in a healthy marriage, you should have a right to know where they are at all times.
Mr Kayode Babalola (Journalist)
There are valid reasons for keeping a secret from your spouse. Do not reveal the embarrassing or hurtful moments of your past.
It is possible that the secret involves someone else who asked that the story should not be told. There are couples who have been married for a long time but have personal secrets that they haven’t shared with their spouses. The sense of space and of a private part of oneself is important to many people.
If you have a secret that you think you should share but you are unsure about it, look at your own physical responses when you are hiding the secret. If your blood pressure increases, or you find yourself blinking a lot faster, you are gasping for breath or you are perspiring profusely, then there could be clues so share that particular secret.
If you are keeping a secret because you don’t want to face responsibilities, this can create problems in your marriage. Withholding facts or information your spouse needs to know in decision making is harmful manipulation.
Princess Nguher Aleva (Businesswoman)